It’s that time of year again: Parties, get-together’s and all kinds of celebrations. More food and drink than at any other time of year.
It’s almost impossible to say no.
Diets go out the window as you’re surrounded with tempting foods and drinks. Exercise programs are forgotten as the weather gets cold or rainy.
More than half of the population will put on two pounds this time of year and 10% will put on five pounds or more. Most people don’t lose the weight they gain.
Why Does This Happen?
There are many reasons for our over-indulgences. Everyone has their own personal rationale and much of it’s emotional.
Frequently, family gatherings are stressful so we dive into the comfort foods and alcohol to ease that stress.
We’ve grown up with traditions that call for an excess of food and drink and, if we don’t participate, we’re somehow judged negatively – something none of us like. If you don’t eat some of Aunt Mary’s apple pie or your grandmother’s casserole, they think you’re rejecting them personally so you eat it all.
In other cases the food is so damn good you don’t want to stop eating.
The reasons are endless.
A New Approach
But this year things are going to be different for you.
You’re taking a new approach that goes beyond the usual advice of eating before you go to a party or avoiding the buffet line.
Instead of following your same old patterns of excess, you’re going to approach the whole season more mindfully.
Result? Happier holidays and a happier body.
How do you do this?
By taking a deep breath and noticing how you feel before you make each choice. You’re making choices all the time.
- What to put on your plate
- How much to put on your plate
- What to drink
- How much to drink
- How you feel about where you are
- How you feel about who you’re with
- What your next words will be
- How you respond or react to people and situations
- What you wear
Are You Listening to the Monkey?
You either let your subconscious monkey mind run the show or you slow down enough to listen to your True Self who knows what’s in your unique best interest.
The monkey mind tells you what you should do and throws all kinds of guilt and fearful emotions at you if you don’t. These should’s are cultural or family norms. Many times you don’t feel very good about them.
Your True Self is looking out for you. She knows what makes you happy from the inside out. Her suggestions always come from love and always feel good.
When you make your choices by listening to your True Self and generally keeping the monkey mind in the sidelines, thanking it for its contributions, you feel relaxed, knowing that you’ve made the best choices for yourself.
Dueling Voices
Here are some examples of the two voices in your head:
You’re at your parents’ house for the big family gathering. You’ve been working hard over the past couple of months to create healthy habits.
Aunt Mary approaches you, urging you (strongly) to have a “nice helping” of her super duper casserole that’s her specialty at these events. It’s full of cheese and bread. Last month you finally discovered that you have milk and gluten intolerances and, since excluding these from your diet, you feel better than you have in decades.
Monkey mind: Oh, just take a big spoonful to make her happy. You know what will happen if she thinks you don’t like her cooking.
True Self: You can feel the lead weight in your belly, the gas and bloated feeling just looking at that casserole. You know what it will do to you. Aunt Mary won’t understand the concept of food intolerances. Simply say, “No, thank you” as nicely as you can. You’re not responsible for her feelings. How Aunt Mary responds to that is her choice.
Later that evening, Uncle Charlie comes by to top off your glass of wine. You’ve already had two glasses and know that you’ll feel like crap tomorrow if you have any more.
Monkey mind: Oh, what the hell. Have one more. You need it to handle being around these people.
True Self: Do you really want to feel the way you’ll feel if you have another glass? I didn’t think so. Another very nice “No, thank you.” Let Uncle Charlie feel needed by asking him to get you a glass of water instead.
Your mother serves you a big slice of pumpkin pie. Delicious, yes. But you know you don’t need all those calories.
Monkey mind: Just eat the whole thing. You know you love it. You can exercise it off later.
True Self: Mmmmmm. So delicious! Those first couple bites are the best. After that you know you stop truly tasting it. Eat slowly and have just enough to fully savor the aromas, tastes and textures. Leave the rest.
Think about how you would feel leaving the gathering after having listened to your True Self instead of the monkey mind. Multiply that by all the parties you’ll attend over the holiday season.
Feel better?
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- Saying good-bye to diets because you maintain your ideal weight with pleasure.
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Image via kchandg.com
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The Mindful Living Guide
Oooooh, you got me! Now I’m all excited about getting started with your program. I decided to make my health one of my big goals in 2013 and I’m excited about having your program to support me. Thanks, Paige!
Awesome Iris! I’m so happy to have you as part of the Program! Let me know how I can best support you on your journey!
Big Hugs!
Hi Paige!
I just wish I had read this post Wednesday! I’m still full 4 days later! 🙂
But at least I can fall back on being more mindful like you suggest for the fast-approaching Christmas holidays! Okay, time to head out to the gym to burn off my added pounds!
Like Galen, I have a sweet tooth myself. Just love the pies and ice cream, but don’t have the immediate feedback she gets. No headaches here. Just a slow thickening of my waste-line padding! 😉
Loved the post. Very helpful way to approach everything we do.
Thanks Ken! Feedback for most of us tends to be more subtle, even before it gets to our waste-line. I’ve gotten into the habit of noticing that I’m no longer tasting something after I eat a certain amount. I eat two or three bites, noticing how delicious those bites are. Then I realize that the next bite isn’t quite as exciting for my mouth. It takes some practice but I stop around there.
Eating more mindfully and moving your body a little bit every day can make a world of difference in how you look and feel year round.
There’s a principle in economics that describes why consumers buy less at higher prices called the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. It perfectly describes what you said about not noticing how delicious the food is after the 3rd bite.
But I’ll do that, take small steps toward more mindful eating.
I remember that principle!
Happy eating! 🙂
Wonderfully balanced and sane approach. For me, it’s not so much the calories, but the sugar. I woke up with a migraine this morning because I over indulged in the sweets over the weekend. As you suggest, I don’t need to stay away from them completely, but I do need to just have a taste and then let it go. I think it was that last piece of pumpkin pie that did me in! I will go forward through the rest of the holiday season more mindfully.
Sugar can do a number on many of our bodily systems as well as our minds, as you know Galen. 🙂 Taking that moment to take a couple deep breaths before indulging further can make a huge difference. It’s a way to let our True Self’s voice be heard.
May your mindful holiday season bring you much happiness!
Yes, yes, yes! I always have a sense of relief when the holidays are over. Although the parties, food and drinks are a fun part of it – I like to get back to my routines. This post taught me I don’t have to “get back” to a healthier lifestyle, I can maintain it during the holidays. Thank you for this.
Exactly Jane! That’s the whole idea behind mindful eating and the Mindful Body program. It’s a way of thinking and being every day that creates the results you’re looking for and allows you to keep them for the rest of your life.
Happy Holidays!!
Yes, I think that’s a great approach, Paige — looking at how we feel before we’re about to eat something — that is, whether there’s a sense of a hole or a deficiency that needs to be filled. I also think it’s useful to notice the sensation I feel right after I’ve taken a bite of some kind of food — if I feel a sour or slightly nauseous sensation, I won’t eat any more of it, no matter how good it looks or how expensive it is, etc.
Great idea Chris! So much of what, why, where and how we eat has nothing to do with hunger or physical needs. The more we can slow down and notice what’s really going on at all levels within us, the more easily we can hear the voice of our True Self and follow its wise advice.
Beautiful…thank you!
I was raised in a huge, Italian family…so holiday celebrations involved lots of relatives and lots of food. Two statements I heard consistently were something along the lines of “I made this for you so you have to eat it…” and if I didn’t eat something “Oh, are you upset with me?”. Two very loaded statements. The fact that I was vegetarian from very young (my own choice) among a family that served meat in everything, was quite a lot for me to honor, so the added pressure of conditional love It took me many years of inner work for my mind to release the conditioned equation of love and food. Now, for celebrations, I suggest that we all do a physical activity together (hike, an easy stroll around the block…) and I also ask each person to share their best of the day/the week…something to raise the vibration of the energy in the room.
I totally understand the big Italian family meals. My first husband was all Italian. Big kuddos to you, Joy, for sticking with your choice to be a vegetarian in that environment!
I love your ideas for new ways to celebrate! Creating an environment where everyone can have fun and express their own unique gifts is a massive gift to all who attend.
I know your holidays will be happy ones!