“I’m going to lose it on the next person who asks me to do something!”
That’s what’s going through your mind as projects and deadlines at work are growing, friends and family all seem to be asking for “one little thing” all at the same time, things around the house are screaming for your attention, the kids need your help and time and so does your spouse.
You’re only one person and you can only handle so much before you blow.
Feeling overwhelmed sucks but it seems to creep up on you all too often.
You hate this feeling and wish you could find a way to manage things so they didn’t get to this point.
You can.
Stop Living In the Future
Your stress and blood pressure build as you think about everything that you need to accomplish. Too much to do and too little time.
This is what happens when you’re living in the future. You think and stress about all the things that need to be done in the future.
Fears of not being able to get it all done and disappointing others plague you.
Know that this is your not-so-friendly monkey mind doing its thing again – painting all kinds of scary what-if’s in your head that, in reality, aren’t so bad and are very unlikely to happen. But he doesn’t want you to know that so he keeps pelting you with things to fear.
Thanks to your monkey mind’s inability to be in the present moment, you’re drowning in the future.
Worrying and stressing about future events doesn’t get them done. It diverts energy and focus from what’s happening in the present moment, impeding your ability to get things done.
By simply noticing that your monkey mind has momentarily taken over, you can regain control and bring things back to the present moment.
What’s Here and Now
In the present moment, there’s only what’s in front of you – right here, right now.
There are no future calamities for things not getting done. There’s no lack of time.
By bringing your awareness back to the present moment, you realize that you’re doing the best you can under the current circumstances.
You can only do one thing at a time and, eventually, everything worthwhile will get done.
Drop the Judgments
Being mindful means bringing your awareness back to the present moment and not judging anything.
Don’t judge yourself negatively for not being a superhero. You’re human and you’re doing the best you can. And that’s good enough.
Don’t judge others for how they act or what they say. They’re dealing with things in their own lives that have nothing to do with you.
Everything simply is what it is. You can choose how to respond.
Making New Choices
You’re not a superhero and you can’t do everything all at once, no matter how hard you try. Deal with it.
Knowing that, make different choices going forward.
If someone makes a request and you know you can’t help them, let them know. It’s okay to say no. If you can help them later, when things calm down, tell them. It’s not your problem if that won’t work for them. It’s not your job to make them happy.
If your boss piles one more thing on your plate and you feel that you can’t say no, ask them to prioritize things for you. Let them know that you already have too much on your plate and you want to do things well so you need their help.
No One Is Perfect
We’re all doing the best we can. Floating through life with no stress is almost impossible.
Even after you know how to keep things at a manageable level, things will slowly, imperceptibly, get out of hand again and you’ll find yourself repeating the quote at the beginning of this post.
Remember: No judgments. Shit happens.
Simply follow the steps below to move back to your happy place.
Simple Steps
The next time you find yourself completely overwhelmed by all that life has thrown at you:
1. Close your eyes and breathe.
– Stop what you’re doing.
– Close your eyes and take at least three deep breaths.
– Focus on the air going in through your nose and out through your nose or mouth.
– Relax your jaw, face, neck, shoulders, and arms.
– Slowly say to yourself, “Be here now.”
2. Focus on what’s in front of you right now and finish it.
– Now that you’re feeling a bit more relaxed, finish the one thing you’re working on right now.
– Don’t do anything else. No phone calls, emails or other distractions. No multi-tasking.
– Do the one thing, and only that thing, until it’s done, if at all possible.
3. Make a list of everything else and either prioritize it, delegate it or say no.
– Write down all the other things swimming around in your head.
– Write as much detail as you can about each item so you have nothing left in your head that you’ll need to remember. It will all be on that list for you to refer back to.
– Review each item on the list and decide if you really need to do it. Can you ask someone else to handle it? Does it really need to be done at all?
– Prioritize all the things that you have to do. Ask yourself if you’re working against deadlines that you made up for yourself (give yourself some slack) or do they belong to someone else (ask for an extension).
– When you’re done, you’ll have an organized list with everything you need to do and when it needs to get done.
4. Take a break.
– Take a walk. Get a cup of coffee or tea and do nothing while you sip it. Go outside and stretch your body. Go to an exercise class. Play in a park. Do anything that removes you from the place that creates stress for you. Move your body. Clear your mind. Have fun!
5. Do the next thing on your list with as little distraction as possible.
– Tell those around you that you need some private time.
– Go to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
– Turn off your email and any web pages that you don’t need to complete your current task.
– Only work on one thing at a time until it’s done.
– Take a break, then move to the next thing.
6. Say no to any other requests until you can comfortably include them on your prioritized list.
– Let people know you’re maxed out right now and to be patient.
– Know that the world won’t end if you say no. While you expect the worst, others will actually respect you more by drawing boundaries for yourself and saying no when you need to.
If you have other ways of handling overwhelm, I would love to hear about them! Please leave a comment describing what works for you.
