This is a guest post from Mike Routen at Route To Freedom. He and his family are on a mission to help others free themselves from their self-imposed chains. Please welcome him!
Are you being proactive or reactive to what the day brings?
Each new day brings many challenges. Some we can expect and many we cannot. Every one of these challenges has the opportunity to completely derail our day. It is frustrating and can suck the energy right out of you.
It doesn’t have to be this way though.
If we are always reacting to the situations in our lives, we will always be at their mercy. If we want to change how we move through our day, then we need to become more proactive about them.
Being prepared for the situations that we can expect will allow us be more mindful throughout the day. I’m not talking about planning your day’s activities. I’m talking about planning how we are going to handle what the day brings us.
By not simply wandering through the day, reacting to each situation as it comes, we gain control over ourselves and our day. To be better prepared for the day, spend some time before you start your day considering what you may encounter along the way.
Do you have a commute to work in the morning? What would be good time to leave by so that you are not in a rush? By giving yourself an extra buffer of time, you can be calmer and in turn let the other crazed, late drivers pull in front of you without raising an eyebrow, let alone your blood pressure.
What kinds of work do you expect to have today? Is there any thought that you can give to it while you are on your way to work that will better prepare you for the tasks at hand?
Are there arguments that happen more frequently than you would like with either your coworkers or your family? What kind of thought can you give before those situations arise so that you don’t feel that you have to react out of frustration or anger?
By being mindful of these situations when you are outside of the influence of emotion you will have a better chance of seeing when they are beginning and of derailing the argument before it gains any momentum.
Are you prepared with fore-thought for the majority of the situations that you encounter?
Don’t expect to be able to anticipate every situation that you will encounter each day. Life is a little too random for that. However, by being better prepared for the ones that are foreseeable, you will have a reserve of patience that wasn’t there when every situation was taking a toll on you.
By making a small change in your routine each morning you can carve out a few minutes to consider the day ahead and how you can best prepare for what you expect. Either set your alarm a little earlier, or if you are already getting up way too early, see if there is something that you can put off to a little later in the day in order to give you the few minutes to plan for the day.
Can you check your email later? Can you prepare your lunch the night before? How about setting out your clothes the night before? Besides giving you a few extra minutes in the morning, it will be easier to find matching socks when you are fully awake the night before.
Have you prepared for the next encounter with your misbehaving children? We cannot predict when a child will have their next oh-my-goodness-my-world-has-just-ended-and-I-can’t-handle-it breakdown, but as parents, we usually have a pretty good idea of what their triggers are and if we give it some thought, can also come up with creative ways to avoid the worst of them.
If your children are anything like mine, hunger and sleepiness both make them very susceptible to emotional triggers. By knowing this and taking a few minutes to prepare before a trip, we can bring some healthy snacks, water and their favorite fuzzy blanket on trips so that we can help them get past their emotional ups and downs.
Have you prepared for the next encounter with an upset spouse? Paige Burkes gave a great example of how she saw a negative situation brewing between her and her husband and was able to pause, change the situation and avoid an argument. This is a great example of what each of us can do to short circuit our reactive thoughts, and replace them with proactive plans. Simply by giving our day a little thought before we get started.
The next business meeting? Are you tasked with organizing a meeting at work? By taking the time before the meeting to try and anticipate all of the questions that may come up during that meeting, and what kind of information will answer those questions, you can really make that time valuable for everyone. Instead of it being a waste of time, your planning will show that you value everyone’s time.
What other kinds of situations can you foresee that could use a little planning or preparation? Setting aside time each day will help you to be better prepared and therefore more proactive. By being able to sail through those situations that used to trip you up, you can now focus your energy on those situations that do surprise you.
What kind of situations can you plan for each morning? Leave a comment so that we can all better prepare for tomorrow.
We’re a family of four, getting out of the 9-5, buying a sailboat so we can explore the world, educating our kids along the way. Mike and Kelly Routen regularly write on topics such as mindset, relationships, education, freedom and dreams. In the coming weeks, Nathan, our 8 year old son, will be sharing from his point of view as well! Come, join us on our journey and let us help you find the path to your personal freedom at Route To Freedom.
Create the life you want: Combine the law of attraction with mindfulness
The law of attraction suggests that our positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences. My latest book, The Mindful Guide to Law of Attraction, pairs that belief with the powerful practices of mindfulness. Through intentional breathing, writing, and engaging, youâll hone a method for manifesting health, wealth, and loveâthe elements of happiness.
Let the law of attraction work for you by adopting its basic steps of identifying and visualizing the things you desire. Then use 45 practical meditation techniques included in the book to achieve awareness. By concentrating your positive energy on obtaining your wants, youâll give yourself permission to receive them.
To your happiness! ~Paige
You can find this book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and Indigo.
I love those tips! Wish I could leave earlier every morning for my work commute but can’t due to my other commitments, so I take the opportunity to breathe and then breathe again while I sit in the traffic đ
Taking a moment to breathe deeply throughout your day can transform your stress level. Good thinking Kellie!
Mike,
All great ideas to help us to lead calmer lives. I thoroughly enjoyed your post and can’t wait to visit your blog. I love to travel so the sailboat idea sounds great!
Thanks Paige!!
Betsy,
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
If you like traveling, then stay tuned to Route To Freedom, we’ve got some exciting changes lined up for the next post!
I’ll give you a hint… we love sailing and traveling too and it’s going to show a LOT more!
First of all I would like to say awesome blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing. I’ve had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints? Cheers!
Geraldine,
I’m guessing that your questions were primarily aimed at Paige (and I agree that Simple Mindfulness is an awesome blog!), but in the hopes of helping you out I’d like to chime in here…
One of the biggest things that has helped me get into the groove of writing is using the site 750words.com. It is a very simple site that is designed to let you just write. After reading the book, Accidental Genius by Mark Levy, I’m learning how to just let the words flow without any filters. Since I can type faster than I can write, typing them out really lets the thoughts flow.
If I am ever feeling stuck, I just start writing whatever comes to mind. No filters, no editing, just flow. These sessions usually start with something like, “Okay, here I am trying to write with nothing coming to mind. Hmm, what can I write about today. Wow, it seems like the kids always choose this time to be the loudest. Oh well, lets just keep writing and see what comes up…” I am literally transcribing the thoughts that are running through my mind.
Usually within a few minutes some topic or idea that has been brewing for a while surfaces and I can follow that though where ever it leads.
Now not every writing session results in something that is useful. However more often than not something useful does come out of it. Later I can review and refine this raw material and end up with a useful post.
Does this help at all? I’m sure Paige will have some additional information as I suspect that she is way ahead of me in terms of finding her muse.
Mike has some great ideas! I keep a running list of possible topics, writing down ideas as they strike me. When I know I’ll be writing later, I go through my list and pick the topic that jumps out at me. I don’t write at that time. As I’m doing other things like cleaning or yoga, I’ll think about how to start the piece. Once I have a start in my head, I start typing and the rest seems to flow.
That way I’m not beating myself up at the keyboard, trying to come up with something to write. After mulling it over a bit in my head, I have plenty to type once I finally sit down. At that point I just hope I’m capturing all the great ideas that were floating around in my head earlier.
Hope that helps!
Hi Mike…
Great advice and perspective on how to prepare for your day. It make perfect sense to spend some time before you get into full gear reflecting on and planning on how best to deal with any encounters situations that might crop up. Fran
Thank you Fran.
We can’t see everything that is coming at us for the day, but it sure does help to prepare for those we know about.
I love your 64 ways list. Maybe this could be #65.
Great post, Mike! Limits are only there when we choose to see them, when we give our power to them. What can I prepare for tomorrow? Hmm, my son’s birthday celebration. This takes more forethought than one might think since he has autism. I have to coordinate plans with his brother and three sisters and my two grandchildren! Your post hits the right balance between planning and flexibility. Thanks! And thanks, Paige for sharing this great post with us.
Galen,
Thank you. Limits are funny things. We tend to accept them unconsciously and usually without question. It is only when we stop, ask ourselves “why not?” that we begin to move beyond those self-imposed limitations.
I commend you for your commitment to your son. We have some friends with a daughter that has autism and I see how it can impact the entire family. I hope you all have a wonderful celebration!
Mike,
Where were you when my kids were growing up?!? Wow life on a sailboat. Brave and fun.
Tess,
I was probably working at getting back to a place in my life where I could get my bold on!
Life on a sailboat will be many things, we’re hoping that the bold and fun will be in the majority.
Thanks!
Kelli,
Thank you.
I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to reacting to certain circumstances, especially with my children. Each day I have to work at not simply reacting to them, but preparing myself so that I can engage them in a more positive way.
Here’s to better choices!
Mike
Hi Mike
This was a great post and you gave some great advice in there. We go through so much of life just reacting and not responding to what we encounter every day. We are so deeply ingrained in habitual ways of being and acting that we are not even aware of our capacity for change. As I work on increasing my awareness, it is becoming more and more clear to me that we have this wonderful tool called choice that is operational in every circumstance we face.
Nice blog Mike. You did a great job. Thanks for the wonderful thoughts of how to prepare for your day.
Kyla,
Thank you for the kind words.
Mike
Hi! Mike, How nice to meet you here! I loved our post. I am a firm believer of “Fail to plan, and you plan to fail”. Just a little forethought can determine whether our day goes well or down the drain. Although usually well-planned ( am a big one for lists), I am sometimes guilty of slacking off and then suffering for it. You see, my day begins at 5.30 am – I get the coffee going and then cook lunch from scratch to pack in boxes and carry to work/school by 8 am. 20 out of 30 days I am perfectly planned. Then three days I goof up big time and somehow managed to sail out of it successfully – and feel stupid because i COULD have planned in advance but didn’t. đ
One of the things I used to focus on during my career in Training was time management, which ties in with your post. And the power of saying “No”. Funny how we mess up our lives by saying yes when we mean no – and so – end up freaking our time management because we have to fit in things that were not originally part of the plan.
đ And so – I have my lists – I prioritize, plan and prepare – be it my kitchen activities or work stuff. I teach my son to do this too, explaining the joy of being prepared. There is an easy example – studying vs not studying for an exam. Sometimes we do behave as though we are paranoid – but better that way than being filled with regret. Because who can turn the clock back?
Thank you Paige – Big applause for Mike and you for a fantastic post!
Vidya,
Thank you so much for the warm welcome.
It sounds like you keep a very busy, yet organized schedule for your day.
I like the example you use of studying for an exam. It is very appropriate as life tests us frequently.
Thanks again,
Mike