The last of human freedoms – the ability to chose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances. – Viktor E. Frankl
I lost my job earlier this week. No notice or severance. I can’t say that I didn’t sense that it might happen, but I wanted to remain positive. I knew the company had been experiencing cash flow problems but I was hoping for the magic rabbit coming out of the hat that didn’t come.
It felt like someone punched me in the gut. The day I got the news, I was in a dark fog. I couldn’t think straight. My body felt the weight of the news.
This happened to me once before about four years ago. While it’s devastating, I know it’s not the end of the world. I’ve been through all the “what if’s” and I know the worst that could happen. Because I’ve been there before, it only took me that first day and night to get past the worst of it emotionally.
Learning Our Lessons
Instead of ruminating on the situation, I began asking myself and the Universe what I haven’t learned yet. Why have I received the same message twice?
The Universe delivers messages to us all the time. It’s up to us to listen to them, figure out what they mean for us and act on them. When we don’t listen and act, the Universe is a little more adamant about its delivery the next time. Like going from a gentle nudge to being hit upside the head with a baseball bat.
This was clearly the baseball bat right between my eyes. Ouch!
The next morning, I decided that any kind of negativity wouldn’t serve me. Dwelling on the situation will only waste time and time is something I don’t have.
I began to think about the times in my life when I had financial abundance, when things like this didn’t happen. Where and how was I living? What was I thinking and feeling and doing on a daily basis? How is all that different than how my life is now? It’s time to get my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and mindset back to where they were in the more financially abundant times.
I realized that, over the past few years, I had only viewed jobs as a way to pay the bills – something I had to do and not something I wanted to do. While I need a job to pay the bills, if I pursue one out of this fear, I’ll chase it away. Fear and money had been intertwined in a vulgar dance for me. I resented having to work because jobs took me away from my family and other things I wanted to do but fear kept me working. My resistance to having a job was creating my hardship.
Now was the time to change all that. My attitude was only going to sabotage me again if I didn’t do something about it. I’m quite sick of repeating this negative pattern. I’m doing whatever it takes to change it for the rest of my life.
Know Why You Want To Change
In order to make these lasting changes, I have to be different. I have to have different thoughts and emotions. I have to take different actions and have different daily habits. I have to become the kind of person that accomplishes what I want to accomplish.
I needed some big ‘why’s’ to keep me energized and positive and to change my old mindset. My biggest ‘why’s’ are my family and creating the means to make our dreams a reality. Other ‘why’s’ include my being able to help people and companies achieve their goals and dreams by offering my expertise. I sat down and wrote a list of all my ‘why’s’ so I can look at them often.
After visualizing and deeply feeling the energy of my ‘why’s’ I was ready to hit the ground running.
I feel more positive, energized and focused than I have in years. I’m excited about the people and opportunities that are waiting for me. I’m excited about expressing my True Self in different areas and in different ways.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to change my life again.
Taking Responsibility and Implementing Mindfulness
This story could have played out much differently.
I could have wallowed in my pain for a good, long time. I could have played the victim, asking the Universe, “Why me?” I could have dwelled on thoughts like, “Why does this always happen to me?” I could have been mad at my boss and the world.
But none of this would have helped. None of this would move me in the direction of where I want to be and I knew it.
I woke up the morning after receiving the news and decided to feel great and take action.
Throughout my days, I stop and take a moment to notice my thoughts and emotional state. If they’ve slipped back to where I don’t want them anymore, I simply erase them and paint the picture in my mind that I want to focus on. I think of myself when I was living in the state where I want to be and I put myself there now.
I notice what I’m doing and ask myself if the person who lives the life that I want would do those things. If not, I change what I’m doing.
I’m using my mindfulness practice of noticing my thoughts, feelings and actions in the moment, without judging them, and changing them to what I want, in the moment. I don’t beat myself up for thinking unwanted thoughts or falling back into old habits. I simply change what I’m doing and move forward.
The more I check in with myself and non-judgmentally make any necessary shifts, the more habitual my desired state will be. And the faster I’ll attract my ideal job.
How have you handled bad news or made conscious changes in your life? We can all learn from your experiences.