There I am: clenching with my white-knuckled fist, holding on with the grip of death. I can’t let go. Everything will fall apart if I let go. The branch is slipping through my fist, cutting into my skin as I try to hold on even tighter. I’m scared. Scared of falling. What kind of doom will I face? I….can’t….let….go…….
The branch slipped through my fingers and I was on my own. 
But I didn’t fall.
Instead, I was buoyed up into the sky like a helium balloon, zooming upward.
I was flying!
And I was laughing!
This was a dream I had the other night.
Fear Blocks The Flow
While I’ve learned to let go and trust my intuition and the powers of the Universe in so many areas of my life, there’s one area where I’ve continued to struggle.
I’ve finally come to realize that by trying to control, gripping, and holding on so tightly, I’m blocking the flow. Blocking the great things waiting for me.
It’s time to let go.
Letting go is scary. Releasing our perceived control is frightening.
But what are we really scared of? That we can’t dictate the future? Newsflash: We never could.
Receiving The Signs
I was asking the Universe for signs, messages that could help me to understand what I need to do and feel to shift in this area of my life. That’s when I received this dream that I remember so vividly (I rarely remember my dreams).
At the same time, for no physical reason, I began to experience intense back pain. From working with this emotional issue before, I knew it was my monkey mind freaking out because I was demanding change in this area once and for all.
I meditated and focused on the pain in my body. I spoke to it to better understand what its message was for me. I spoke softly to it to reassure that crazy monkey that all would be well.
Just relax and let go.
It took almost a week for my crazed monkey mind to finally release its grip on my back. And it has taken another week before I could move freely in the ways my body is accustomed.
The Process of Letting Go
Whenever I feel my fears start to well up, I remember my dream and repeat my positive mantra: There’s always more than enough. I am good enough to receive the best.
Letting go can be a process with baby steps. Or it can happen all at once. It simply depends on what we allow.
My mindful mind wants it to happen all at once because it’s all so silly. But my monkey mind continues to screech in protest. As I continue to remind the monkey that change is going to happen whether he likes it or not, he’s quieting down.
I’m letting go.
My mindful mind continues to flash the scene in my dream of me flying higher and higher, laughing the whole way.
I know it to be true. And it feels really, really good.
When I release my grip, when I trust in my Higher Self, when I let go and fly, the world changes and magic happens.
I can’t wait to see what wonders await me.
SHE LET GO …. without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the “right” reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of all the planning and all the calculation, about how to do it just right.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and moon shone forever more.
Written by Ernest Holmes (1887 – 1960)
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Love this, Paige!
A Trapeze Poem:
Without letting go, there is no show.
– Dinabandhu Sarley
love this. thank you !!
Thanks so much Christopher!
Absolutely perfect Therese! I’m going to put that one on my fridge. Awesome! Thank you!!
I think letting go is an important part of mindfulness. But also focus, being able to focus on the present, which of course requires us to let go of busy thoughts about the moment.
You’re so right Dan. It’s seems so difficult to focus on the present with all the pulls on our attention. Releasing our attachment to these pulls is about the only way to stay in the present. Because the present is all we have.
Thank you!!
Hi Paige,
Wow. I love the poem!
And I *love* this : When I release my grip, when I trust in my Higher Self, when I let go and fly, the world changes and magic happens. I can’t wait to see what wonders await me.
I know this to be true in my life as well…thank you for the beautiful affirmation!
And thank YOU Joy! Let’s all fly together!
Paige, thanks for sharing your inspiring dream. You’re so right about the holding on representing fear.
When I feel that anxiety or disconnect, I try to ask myself:
Why is holding on to this (whatever it is) important? What am I gaining from it?
What do I fear losing? and of course, the classic “What’s the worst that could happen?”
It nearly always diffuses and relaxes the situation.
“Leap and the net will appear.” or in your case… wings!
Thanks for your thoughtful reminder.
I love these questions, Christopher! I’ve used “what’s the worst that could happen?” repeatedly on my issue but things haven’t loosened up yet. I’ll definitely be working with the others you mentioned. Thank you!!
Paige,
This post is perfect for me. While one of the main themes of my blog is letting go, I seem to be holding on to one thought having to do with my two older boys. I need to trust and let go. Love the Ernest Holmes poem! Where did you find it?
Thanks and have a wonderful week!
xoxo Betsy
Thanks Betsy! I think it’s hard to let go when it comes to our kids. We want the best for them and feel like we need to control things to make that happen. As we’re both learning, the best for them is when we let go and let them be themselves and support them as best we can. Easier said than done! Big Hugs!!
Hi Paige, I had a very interesting experience of letting go and, in a similar way to you, I got an answer and solution to the problem. But only when I let it go did it come.
Beautiful words and thank you.
Thank you Amit! Doors open and wonderful things happen when we open our minds and hearts to the flow of the Universe. So glad you got your solution!
I learned this lesson very recently. “What you resist persists”—it’s amazing what can happen when you finally let go of what you are resisting.
Regarding the back pain, I believe that trapped emotions (and the attachment to them) can cause physical pain in your body. There are lots of techniques that energy healers use to help you release them. I think it’s pretty cool.
It seems that we resist so much more than we admit to ourselves. I know I do. Just when I think I’ve let so much go, I find another dark corner of myself that’s holding onto old thoughts and patterns. At least I’m aware of these things now and know how to work with them.
Regarding my back pain, I started having a “bad back” when I was about 15 years old. I spent decades going to chiropractors, acupuncturists and various kinds of energy workers with little to no effect. I loved the relaxing nature of the treatments but my back didn’t change much until I started practicing yoga. Taking yoga seriously started me on my journey inward which has resulted in lasting change. I still get occasional occurances like this one but I know exactly where they come from and what to do about them now. Basically, I began to realize that my healing and happines can only come from within me, not from things outside of me.
Thanks for the great comment, AJ!
Wow, Paige! What a powerful dream – and what a lesson your higher self was giving you. It’s so true that we’re some sort of soul sisters. Reading this has helped me realize how my control issues rest at the root of many of my obstacles. It’s so easy to realize in my head – but much more difficult to get to the real letting go. Just release my clenched hold on that branch and drop into those swirling waters. It’s all about trust. When we give up that intense need for control, we can allow trust.
So interesting that your back flared up when you made the conscious decision to relinquish control. Our Lizard Brains play so many tricks to keep us safe. Excellent writing Paige. So inspiring.
Thank you Sarah! Whenever I read your posts, I feel like you were in my head, showing me what’s there in a whole new light. I’m so glad I could help you as well. You and I have some crazy monkey minds & lizard brains that need some serious taming! 🙂
You know, Paige, when i received this post in my email, I had just read this: “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar” (Thich Nhat Hanh). Isn’t it so true? Letting is very hard. But if we don’t take the risk, we’ll never know the difference. I think we basically need to visualize a good outcome – and attract it.
I like how you lead in to the post!
Hugs! (I am missing you, if you know what i mean!)
Funny you quote Thich Nhat Hanh. I just pulled Being Peace from my bookshelf to read it again. We’re always on the same wavelength!
I’ve learned to let go in many areas of my life which is hard for me to understand why I haven’t yet done it in every area of my life. In some areas, the ties to the past run a little deeper and the process takes a little longer – like peeling an onion, one layer at a time.
Thank you dear sister!
We let our thoughts and beliefs tie us down. We are afraid of the new and unknown, and stick to the familiar, even if we don’t like it and it makes us suffer. Strange, isn’t it?
If we have the courage to let go, we don’t fall. On the contrary, we gain the ability to see everything from a larger perspective, and therefore, recognize opportunities and take new and better paths.
When you let go in your dream, you didn’t fall. Instead, you were flying. When you fly, you are above the ground, and therefore, have a broader point of view. You can see to the distance. It is the same in life. When you let go, your vision is broader, and therefore you can see more and understand more.
Another name for the fear of letting go is attachment. Learning to let go is the opposite, and that is detachment. While attachment leads to fear and limitation, detachment leads to a sense of freedom and inner peace.
Beautiful Remez! Everything you said is right on!
As hard as it seems to let go, it’s always the best thing. Releasing control. Releasing attachment. Freedom, growth and happiness are gifts that we can give ourselves by letting go.
Thank you so much!
I actually lived your dream. Well not the flying part, but it felt like that. I fell off the roof of my cabin, and all I can say was that I floated in the arms of angels. I normally wouldn’t include a link to my blog in a comment, but the stories are so close, I thought you might be interested. Great post about the literal and figurative freedom of letting go. This is what I wrote about falling off the roof. http://10stepstofindingyourhappyplace.blogspot.com/2011/10/falling-into-now.html
Your post is beautiful Galen! I love the trust you had in the process. It reminded me of a time when I was leading a trail ride (riding with two sprained ankles) and riding at a full gallop. The horse slightly shifted her weight to avoid a rock. My ankles weren’t strong enough to absorb her shift and I knew I was about to come off. At that instant, I completely relaxed and flowed with the fall, trusting that all would be well. I hit the ground hard and rolled with the fall, grabbed my hat and got up running to catch my horse to make sure that all the guests’ horses wouldn’t follow into the woods without me.
It’s when we resist the inevitable that injuries (physical or emotional) occur. Thanks for sharing your post!
Hello Paige,
I write and speak extensively about the harms of excessive control (and how to let it go and enjoy the gifts that follow) and you’ve hit upon what I feel is the primary catalyst for unhealthy controlling conduct: FEAR!
The more we can face and address our fears, the more our need to control diminishes and even leaves.
I have found it useful to examine the objective “reality” of the nightmares our fears so readily script for us.
Almost always, the objective reality is much less foreboding than what our imaginations conjure. This alone defuses my fears and enables me to let go of control.
Danny
http://www.losingcontrolfindingserenity.com
You’re so right Danny! Our monkey minds dream up fears and tell us they’re scary. When we think they’re scary, we run away from facing them. It’s when we look directly at those fears and see that they’re only mist, they dissolve.
In the areas where I still feel stuck, where I’ve examined fears and objectively know them to be nothing, there’s some deep emotion that I’m having a tough time tapping into and clearing. I feel that I’ve already lived my worst-case scenarios. When I ask myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I know it’s not that bad.
For me, the challenges with letting go in this area seem to stem from a disconnect between my head and my heart. I feel like I can hear them both speaking clearly.
I’m hoping I get the shift in this area like I have in so many others: in an aha! moment when everything shifts and I suddenly feel in my heart that I truly “get it.” I know it will happen when I deeply let go.
Thank you so much for your great insights Danny!
Hi Paige,
Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do. Great true experience you are relating here. It goes to show that what every we keep inside can be translated into physical pain. In your case, this physical pain was like a blockage going out of your body because you were looking for relief.
When the block is kept inside such pain can become a disease (physical or mental) I’ve seen that happen.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes, it’s funny how the best thing for us can be the hardest thing to do. Whenever I have any physical issues, I always look for the emotional triggers. Once I clear the emotional trigger, the physical pain disappears. Works every time.
Like you, I’ve seen too often how people manifest illness and diseases by burying emotional issues and past traumas. We may find ways to block them from our minds but our bodies don’t forget.
Thanks Sylviane!
Okay this is the second blog post this morning about letting go and I am in the midst of knowing that I have to let go of this relationship I have been in for 7 months. I have to let go – I live in the spirit an the spirit told me this past weekend – that I must release him. I did all I can and now I’m tying the hands of my GOD to do the rest of his good works. Relationships are there to teach us – so I have learned and he has learned and it’s time to let go.
It’s funny that I wrote a blog post this week on holding things loosely – do you think I was manifesting this letting go – I wrote it on a sailing trip with him. I love the power of DREAMS – I ask for dreams all the time and that are our teaching tools.
Thank you for sharing this post – perfect timing!
In gratitude,
Nancy
Like you, Nancy, I’ve been receiving messages of letting go for my own issue. I think it’s amazing how many vivid signs we receive when we’re open to noticing them. Follow your heart and you can’t go wrong.