The following is a guest post from Damien Dante of NomadLetters.
Have you ever been lost?
Not only literally but figuratively? Have you ever had that feeling that you don’t know where to go next?
I remember the last time I had that feeling.
I was in the middle of nowhere, not knowing which direction to choose, in one of Vietnam’s less populated regions. Just me and my forty litre backpack.
I didn’t know which way to go. But I was also confused emotionally. I embarked on this huge adventure, a trip around the world. It was supposed to bring me happiness and answer all of my questions and doubts.
It didn’t (of course).
Sometimes life works like that. When we expect the change to happen, and we’ve worked hard on improving, nothing moves forward.
At the same time, there are moments when you least expect miracles, and that’s exactly when they happen.
The moment I was contemplating this concept, a monk sat next to me.
He smiled. Without saying anything he started his first lesson.
I spent the next few days with him in a small, secluded monastery, surrounded only by the jungle. We couldn’t verbally communicate in any way, so all my teaching was done in complete silence.
Here’s what I learned about life while living in my small cell.
1. Falling (failing) is part of growing
I was learning to meditate. Every day for a couple of hours, I was trying to achieve peace of mind and presence. Every now and then, the monk approached me. He looked at me with a question mark written on his face. Did I succeed?
I declined with a nod.
Then he told me to stand up and instructed me to meditate again. As soon as I concentrated he pushed me.
I tried to resist at first.
So he pushed me again.
I resisted again.
The monk smiled and commanded me not to resist.
So I didn’t.
I fell to the ground. It hurt.
But only for a minute.
Without saying a word the monk left. Then I was back to my practice again. That was the whole exercise.
Change demands that you LET GO.
We often resist transformation because we’re afraid we might fall and get hurt; because “new” sometimes means “painful”, “risky”, “unknown.”
But you must remember that no matter what happens in life, soon you will regain balance.
If you fall, you will stand up again, and you will heal. It’s the natural way.
You resist the fall, although it might teach you something new.
Realizing that, and allowing yourself to fall a couple of times, brings great confidence and ease to your life.
2. This, too, shall pass
It was my fourth day in the jungle. I was still battling the idea of presence and being in the moment.
The monk entered the prayer room and took me by the hand. He led me to the small garden outside.
He instructed me to observe him.
He lifted a small flower from the ground, showed it to me for a minute or so.
Then he closed it in his hands and rubbed them quickly. He showed me the flower again.
He repeated the process again, and again.
After the third rub, he opened his hands. But the flower wasn’t there anymore.
With a smile, the monk held his empty hands in front of my eyes for a minute.
Then he just laughed loudly, turned back, and left me alone.
There are better and worse moments in everyone’s life. Everybody goes through up’s and down’s.
Nothing is stable.
As soon as you achieve happiness, be aware that it will disappear at some point. When you feel sadness, it will also fade.
But the fact that things, moments, and emotions are fragile doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate their message. Appreciate the beauty of the flower before it fades.
Mindfulness is the answer to happiness in life.
3. The root of all pain
What is the thing you want most in life?
I had been trying to sit in the meditation pose for 10 days. But as soon as I started, I lost my balance and fell.
I was frustrated, and I couldn’t let my frustration out. I had to be silent to respect the rules of the monastery.
The master monk visited my cell in the evening. He asked me to show him my meditation.
I tried to sit in the position. But I fell again. My teacher saw my anger. He asked me to try again. Again, I failed, again… and again… Until the moment I was so angry, I sat down by the wall and started crying.
To my surprise, the monk did not pat me on my shoulder or comfort me. He just laughed loudly.
Then he approached me. He showed me how to start breathing, then to place my hands in the right position.
When my legs instinctively started to form the pose, he stopped them.
He instructed me to let them lie on the floor, without proper form.
Then he asked me to meditate.
It was one of the most life-changing moments. I reached something new.
I don’t know how long I’d been in that state. Suddenly, I heard him clapping. I opened my eyes.
He looked at me like he wanted to say “See, it’s that easy.” With a smile, he left my cell.
The root of all pain is ATTACHMENT.
We’re all attached to some ideas. We think that unless we achieve those ideas, we won’t be happy.
But happiness is somewhere else.
Happiness lies in the moment when you understand that all your ideas imprison you, and that you suffer when you don’t meet the standards you put on yourself.
The fastest way to presence and happiness is just LETTING GO.
Accept that you’re already perfect.
Detach from whatever you think you need.
What is the thing you need most in your life? Throw that idea away, and you’ll find your path.
The one choice you have…
Do you have problems in your life? You want to know what you should do?
If someone who just lost both legs asked you, “How should I live my life?” how would you answer?
Wouldn’t you say “Just move on and live, that’s the only option?”
There’s nothing that can be done about the past. The past is already gone.
There is only the PRESENT MOMENT, nothing more. You can’t reverse time.
We all have scars and will get more scars along the way. Some are bigger, others smaller. Some will hurt more than others. Some will make you cry.
But that’s the future. You can’t control the future either.
What we have is this NOW moment. And this moment can become one of two things: something MAGICAL or something mundane.
THIS is the second where you have the power and the choice. The power to be present, mindful, to smile, to make somebody else feel loved, and to go in new directions.
Take a breath of fresh air and notice how beautiful and mysterious the world around you is.
What is your decision? What will you do with your NOW?
About the author
Damien Dante is a writer and life-traveler obsessed with one question – how can we make the world around us a happier place?
In his new book, The Wake-Up Journey, he shares stories and actionable strategies to make life a meaningful and one-of-a-kind experience. Each chapter is a lesson for being more aware, balanced, and present in life.