Change your life: Notice your thoughts, feelings and emotions

I have to say I’m not exactly crazy about the job I go to ever day (actually this is a major understatement).  I feel like I’m constantly micro-managed and kept in a very limiting box.  I know that I’m capable of doing and being so much more but my bosses just can’t (or don’t want to) see it.

I’ve been noticing myself making unhealthy choices as a result of how I feel when I’m working.  I could say it’s because of how my job “makes me feel” but that would be playing the victim.  My job doesn’t “make” me do anything.  I’ve consciously or subconsciously chosen how I feel about it.

My energy levels are usually pretty low and my general attitude and outlook are mediocre at best.  When I notice this, it gives me a great opportunity to practice acceptance and compassion for myself, my situation and those who create the negative environment.  It is what it is.  And that usually helps me feel a bit better.

When I started this job I tried very hard to improve the environment for myself and more for all the other employees.  This was like beating my head against a wall so I finally gave up and stopped trying.

I do what I can for those who work for me and sometimes that’s not much but I’m doing my best and that’s the best I can do.

I’ve noticed the unhealthy urges I seem to be having more and more.

I stopped drinking coffee a long time ago when I realized how sensitive I am to caffeine.  I’ve been a happy tea drinker for years.  But I’ve been wanting more coffee (espresso, actually) looking for the extra caffeine to give me a boost.

And I’ve been wanting to sleep in instead of doing my morning yoga routine.  I’ve been through this many times, testing my hypothesis and coming up with the same answer every time.  I always feel better when I get up at 4:30am and do my morning yoga and meditation practice in the quiet before everyone else wakes up.  And yet I’ve been choosing the fitful sleep instead and feeling more worn out from it.

At the end (or sometimes half-way through) my work day I feel like, “God, I just want a drink.”  I don’t remember ever feeling like that.  Now I have a better understanding of the millions of people who slog home from a job they hate, plop down in front of the TV with a drink and zone out.  I don’t ever want to be one of those people.

Yesterday was one of those “drink” days.  I got home and really wanted a drink but knew we had friends coming over for a quick visit.  I figured I would wait until after they were gone to have one.

I had a wonderful time with my friends who brought their friends.  I loved the new friends too.  We were talking about our passions and projects that are getting off the ground.

After they left I remembered that I said I would have a drink when they were gone.  I totally noticed how great and energized I now felt.  How I so did not need a drink or anything else to placate that malaise that was now totally gone.

I thought, “Wow!  I need to spend a lot more time with people like that!”  And I’m putting the plans together to make that happen.

Now that I’m noticing all of this instead of just coasting through life, I find myself constantly saying in my head, “Make more positive choices.  Make more positive choices.”

When I want the drink or coffee, I make the choice to take a walk.

When I’m tired in the morning, I make the choice to heed my alarm and get up and practice yoga and meditation and going through my gratitude list.

I’m back to drinking a lot more water instead of lots of coffee and tea.

I’m catching the negative thought patterns and releasing them instead of letting them control my emotions.

I want to be happy and, quite frankly, I’m finding that it’s something we all have to work at.

As Matthew Ferry says, “Your mind is not your friend.”  Your heart is, so follow it.

Start taking moments throughout your day to notice the thoughts, feelings and emotions you’re experiencing.  Don’t judge them.  Just notice them for what they are.  If you like them, great!  If not, make a choice to change them.  The simple act of noticing can create a whole new world for you.