What is your face doing right now? Do you have a serious, furrowed brow? Are your eyes squinting a little? Is your jaw tense? How relaxed are your shoulders? How’s your breathing? How does your back feel?
How often in a day to you notice these things? Just stop and notice. No judgment. Just checking in with yourself.
It has taken me a while to turn this noticing into a habit that I do many times each day. Without realizing it, most of us slip into a serious or grumpy state without even realizing it. Our face is scrunched, shoulders are slightly lifted or hunched forward, there’s a bit (or a lot) of stress and tension held all over our bodies. And we wonder why we’re not happy.
The next time you find yourself in this state, try an experiment. No matter what your mood is like, smile. Make it a big, open mouthed smile. Not just a little grin because you’re worried about what the person in the car next to you or in the cubicle across from yours might think. Do it anyway. They’ll just wonder what you’re up to.
Or go crazy and laugh out loud. Hold that smile or laugh for 30 seconds and notice how it changes your mood, your body and your outlook. Notice how your head, jaw, shoulders and back feel at the end of those 30 seconds.
Simply smiling makes it hard to stay stressed and angry. Things seem brighter at the end of those 30 seconds.
A while ago, I started noticing that, regardless of how good or bad I felt at the end of my workday, when I walked into the front door after coming home from work, I would slip into a grumpy face. It’s like my subconscious would think of all the cleaning, cooking and chores that had to be done coming home to three small children. My husband seemed to do the same without realizing it.
Once I noticed it, I wondered why it had to be such a bad thing. What purpose was being grumpy serving?
I was happy to be home with my family after being away from them all day. I was happy to hear the stories from my children of what they did all day. I was happy to be able to provide a great meal for them and love them. And I didn’t want my kids to think they have an unhappy mother.
So I decided to change. Whenever I notice myself getting my grumpy face, I smile a big smile. I think of how lucky I am to have three beautiful children to feed and clean up after. How lucky I am to have a beautiful home to clean. How lucky I am to have an awesome husband who takes care of the kids all day while he works and also willingly helps with all the chores. What’s there to be grumpy about?
And I spread my smiley face to the rest of the family.
How you feel is your choice. Really. You can choose to be grumpy and drag those around you down with you. Or you can choose to be happy and bring everyone around you up. Who would you rather be around?